The greatest piece of advice I have ever heard in my life is from a complete idiot, but his words were wise. He said, "Son, the best piece of advice I can give any man is to make sure you marry a woman who loves giving blowjobs. It gets you through the rough times of any marriage." Since then, I have lived my life by that code and become more aware of analyzing the quality of any women's lips before I get involved. Now, just because they have nice lips, doesn't mean you get a service guarantee, but it sure doesn't hurt. Oh yeah, I almost forgot ... these are ten female celebrities who could probably suck start a lawnmower.
No matter what men do, boobs and vaginas will always be more fun to look and do dirty sex stuff with than our disgusting body parts ever will be. On general principle alone, boobs are awesome enough to make every woman in the world become a lesbian if they'd all be willing to experiment a little more. All we can do is sit back and hope that we don't continue to lose more really hot ones like Lindsay Lohan to the lesbian side. Or hope that they at least start choosing hotter lesbian partners to be with and accidentally lose their sex tapes. It's the least they could do.
The mystery of Marilyn Manson continues to grow with the latest revelation being that he is actually bald thanks to a crazed fan. Next we're going to find out that he actually wasn't the nerdy kid from The Wonder Years and that he never actually slept with either Rose McGowan or Evan Rachel Wood. The worst discovery of them all will be when we find out his whole persona is actually an act and that he's actually the CEO of Hot Topic who's been secretly pumping his overpriced goth clothing and accessories through his music for years. That slimy son of a bitch.
The latest rumor coming out of Holly-weird... I'm sorry, I'm laughing too hard at that... "Holly-weird..." (sigh, throat clear). Moving on. According to the New York Post, there is an unsubstantiated rumor that producers are talking about doing a remake of "Ghostbusters" with the cast of "The 40-Year-Old Virgin." My first reaction, of course, was, not "Ghostbusters", but I very quickly softened. If you're gonna remake the movie, and let's face it, it was bound to happen, this seems like the perfect cast. Think about it, visually and stylistically, these guys could fill those roles perfectly. I mean, Paul Rudd will be great as the black guy! I almost hope this happens. I know, kill me.
This is a wild and almost unbelievable story. Scientology has been hounded by accusations of wrongdoings and crazy rumors since its inception, but now someone is taking their distaste for the religion/cult/celebrity networking club to a new level. Former Scientologist, Peter Letterese, has filed a $250 million lawsuit against the Church of Scientology, invoking Federal RICO statutes, which have generally only been used by the government to take on the Mafia and other crime groups. Letterese claims the Church is a "crime syndicate" and wants it broken up under the Federal racketeering laws, just as the government has broken up Mafia families. What's more, the suit apparently names former beloved celebrity Tom Cruise as a primary conspirator in what is described as Scientology's global scheme.
(MORE AFTER THIS DISTURBING, RECENTLY-RELEASED PHOTO)
According to the New York Daily News, "he [Letterese] singles out Cruise, who's made no secret of his religion, saying that Scientology head David Miscavage is 'aided and abetted by the actions of Tom Cruise, his right-hand man for foreign and domestic promotion, as well as for foreign and domestic lobbying. He has assisted the syndicate in acquiring funds and [made] his own donations of money believed to be in the multiple tens of millions of dollars'."Wow, this is surreal but not totally surprising. Let's just hope the lawsuit gets down to the real business and finally settles the "is-he-or-isn't-he gay" question.
We came across this little nugget on the Huffington Post and desperately needed to share it with you. It seems at-one-time-popular rapper Ludacris is so taken with Presidential Candidate and apparent pal, Barack Obama, he's decided to singlehandedly harpoon his chances of victory by writing a rap extolling the virtues of the man. Yes, nothing gets white voters to flock to a candidate more than associating him with guns, bitches, hos and lyrical references to a paralyzed John McCain (yep, they're in there). What's worse, the song just plain blows. But Ludacris does call George Bush a retard, so that's a positive.
